Ex Left and Never Spoke to Me Again

Today I'k going to show you the iii near prevalent thoughts that your ex is thinking virtually if they don't contact yous.

It'due south probably also relevant to mention that each of these iii things that I'yard going to talk well-nigh today are based on my experience as a motorcoach and founded on award winning research (more on that in a minute.)

And so, if you've e'er wondered what is going on in your exes mind when they don't contact you expect no further.

Your answers are below!

What The Heck Is Your Ex Thinking About When They Don't Contact Yous?

In all in that location are three thoughts or overlying concepts that are going to exist very prevalent in your exes mind if they don't contact you,

1. The Pendulum Swing
2. They Have To Contact Me Kickoff
3. The Height End Rule

Now, I don't expect you to empathize whatever of these concepts. In fact, I'd be shocked if you did because exactly 1 tertiary of the answers are from my own findings and I oasis't really talked about it that much.

But I'yard rambling.

The rest of this commodity is going to be very direct forward.

I'thou going to ascertain each of these concepts for you.

Let's brainstorm with my personal favorite.

one. What Is "The Pendulum Swing?"

Before I first getting philosophical I'd similar to inquire you if you know what a pendulum is?

No?

Well, rather than have me sit hither and explain it for y'all it'south probably improve if I show it to you,

Substantially information technology's something that swings from left to right.

Generally you'll see a lot of physics professors using information technology to explain one of newtons laws but I actually think it's the perfect analogy to depict what goes on inside of someone when they go through a breakdown.

Pretend for a moment that the pendulum really was an indicator for how you were feeling internally after a breakup,

On i side of the spectrum (the left side) yous have all of the bad feelings you could be feeling,

• Anger
• Resentment
• Depression

And on the other side of the spectrum (the right side) you have all the good feelings that you could exist feeling,

• Missing your ex
• Loving your ex
• Wanting to become back together

Near of my clients would kill to have their exes experience this way virtually them.

Speaking of clients, one common complaint I hear from them about their exes is that they wish they didn't go all of these mixed signals.

One moment their ex is asking them something similar,

Do y'all always remember nearly getting dorsum together?

Virtually implying that they practise want to get back together then the next minute they can't become a response from them. They are left in that awful limbo land.

The pendulum explains what is going on in this case.

Over the years I've witnessed an interesting pattern taking identify.

Exes tend to go through a pendulum of emotions after a breakup.

Where one moment they start feeling skillful,

And the next moment they start feeling bad,

It's during these "bad moments" that yous'll detect that your ex doesn't want to talk to yous.

Interesting to think that at that place is this internal battle going on within your ex, isn't information technology?

But if you doubt this concept exists I'd like to plough your attention to your ain feel with breakups. You've probably experienced this pendulum of emotions, haven't you lot?

So, that is the showtime thing going on in your exes caput after a breakup that would cause them to not contact you.

Let'south move on to another mutual thought I come across a lot of the fourth dimension.

2. They Accept To Contact Me Showtime

I desire to prove you something.

Concur on for a moment while I look it up…

Ah, there it is,

This is a picture of me taken about ten years ago a few weeks after I had been through a breakup.

Await how awful I look.

I'yard kidding!

Anyways, I posted this film because every unmarried time I look at information technology I call up of that pause up.

I remember very clearly I had a mantra,

In that location is no way I'g contacting her showtime, she is going to contact me

I'1000 pretty stubborn.

I am a taurus after all.

Anyways, my ex was pretty stubborn as well which meant that nosotros were in the midst of an epic stand off,

Perhaps the virtually interesting affair was the reasoning for why I wouldn't contact her outset.

Ten years agone I was 18 years former.

Which meant that I wasn't exactly the most experienced with relationships. It also meant I still bought into this idea that after every suspension up in that location is a winner and a loser.

And in my heed I'd offset to "lose the breakup" if I reached out to my ex.

Therefore, she was going to have to talk to me first if she wanted to talk to me.

You lot're dying to know who contacted who offset, aren't you?

Information technology was her.

She was actually very clever in how she approached it to.

You see, in 2008 Hurricane Ike hit my hometown,

I grew up in a little identify called Friendswood, Texas which is very close to where the video to a higher place was taken.

Anyways, the Hurricane went over our house and she reached out to check on me and brand sure I was ok.

To this twenty-four hour period I have always regretted how hateful I was to her when she reached out. You see, upon seeing that I was "winning the breakup" I got very arrogant and said something similar this to her,

I regret information technology because I think she was just trying to be nice merely "winning the breakup" was more than important to me at the time.

Anyways, I am telling you lot this story because I want yous to encounter how seriously some people take this concept of making you accomplish out showtime.

And information technology could be going through your exes listen if they don't talk to you.

3. The Superlative End Rule

The peak-cease rule has been revolutionary for my book readers who take really embraced information technology.

Why?

Considering information technology gives you insight into how human beings think and act when they remember experiences.

Then, what is "the peak-finish dominion?"

Put but, human beings remember experiences based on how they felt at the peak of the experience (information technology's almost intense part) and the end of the experience.

In other words, when we think dorsum to experiences we don't account for the sum of it'southward parts we business relationship for mostly those two parts.

It looks a little like this,

Those 2 snapshots of fourth dimension make up the bulk of our memory when nosotros call back back to the experience.

And so, what does this accept to do with your ex not contacting you.

Well, information technology'due south actually an extension of what I talked about above with the pendulum.

If you remember, the pendulum moves from left to right, from bad to good.

The superlative-end rule describes the motivation for why the pendulum moves.

Consider for a moment that your ex is remembering your time together and they start thinking virtually the peak,

The peak of your experience together is arguably the strongest and virtually exciting office to think almost.

Most probable it's going to crusade the pendulum to swing to the correct,

A few days after your ex starts to remember the end of your human relationship,

This of course causes the pendulum to swing to the left as they remember how bad they felt at the end of your time together,

Practise you lot see how these to concepts work together in tandem?

Do you see some of the motivation behind why your ex may non want to talk to you?

It's pretty crazy, right?

Let's do a quick recap because I dropped some advanced stuff onto your plate that I usually merely save for my clients.

Conclusion

What we talked well-nigh today is pretty avant-garde so I'k sure there will be a lot of questions in the comments. If you didn't already know I answer all of my comments personally.

Sometimes I'm a little deadening about getting back to people only they do go answered somewhen.

So, don't hesitate to enquire a question if something confuses you lot.

Allow's do a quick recap,

• The are three prevalent thoughts that your ex is likely to think nigh if they don't contact you
• The pendulum
• I'yard not going to contact them first, they'll have to contact me first
• The peak end rule
• The pendulum is simply an illustration for the trajectory your emotions take after a break upwardly
• Adopting a mindset of "they'll take to contact me outset" is an example of stubbornness
• The peak end rule describes the motivation for why your exes emotions adventure trajectory after a intermission upward

Again, if you have whatsoever questions don't hesitate to ask them below.

mingleyoustand.blogspot.com

Source: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/what-is-your-ex-thinking-if-they-dont-contact-you/

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